I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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