I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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