Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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