We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
