They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think I am morally bankrupt
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize