i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
