My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
