I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
