I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just gargled with NyQuil
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
