Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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