saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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