tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
