yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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