If i come over, it means nothing
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
These tits shall not be calmed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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