Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize