Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
