I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
