bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
