How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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