I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize