If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
