Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
