What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize