His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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