I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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