I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
