We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
