As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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