Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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