the new term for farting is butt boxing.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
