Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
