come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Randomize
