can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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