great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize