wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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