idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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