Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
