Plan B is the new Plan A
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
