Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
