so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just google imaged poop.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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