guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
