i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
