I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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