i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
