He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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