i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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