CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
