the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
