In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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