Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Someone signed my nipple.
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