only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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