I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
