just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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