Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize