The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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