You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize