Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
