So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
