i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
