Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
