hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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