Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
