i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
