How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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