i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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