glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize