Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
